Fuck You Tiger Woods! Fuck You T-DUB! Fuck You Tiger Woods!
The Aziz Ansari R Kelly skit at the MTV Movie Awards cracked me up, the best part is at the 1:30 mark what he shouts “Fuck You BP!” It’s kinda how I feel about Tiger Woods (-650). I said a few weeks back that I wasn’t even going to mention Tiger in a blog until he actually won something, I lied. Tiger look dude you suck at golf, besides the Masters you’ve been playing more like Ty Webb at a Bushwood Country Club member guest tourney. You won’t sniff the leaderboard, but I still love ya brother and if you need a wingman during the Deutsche Bank in Boston text me.
Big Mick and I were talking the other night about the start times for the Open and how great it will be watch Friday night golf. The last group tee’s off at 5:42 EST, this time of the year the PGA hosts events in like Ohio, Connecticut and the Carolina’s so it’s rare we get a west coast swing. Also, it’s the Open at Pebble Beach, glorious.
The defending Open Champion is Lucas Glover who won last year at Bethpage Black, he is playing well this year, but it’s difficult to repeat at the US Open because it’s a rotating event. The last back to back winner was Curtis Strange ’88 – ’89 before that a guy named Ben Hogan did it in the early 50s. The host course always redo’s the layout of the course to make it extra long and narrow. It’s imperative that you hit the greens in regulation and to be great with the flat stick, but you need some balls too.
It’s a USGA event not a PGA, and the USGA usually get blasted by 2 or 3 golfers each year because of difficult conditions, the intention is to make it difficult for the pro’s to shoot under par. You might recall when John Daly famously hit his ball that was rolling back to him after his third attempt to putt it up a slope and hold it on top of a mound in a near impossible pin placement Here. He went on to say that the ‘USGA loves to embarrass guys’. Ok John, nice pants. That’s why Tiger’s 2000 15 stroke Open victory (at Pebble) was an anomaly, coincidentally Barry Bonds hit 73 home runs the next year, just thought I’d point that out.
Ok, so I’ve broken my golfers down into three tiers, favorites, value picks and long shots. Going with these guys. Fuck You Tiger Woods!
Phil +650, Can someone get me a KPMG hat please? Yeah it took me a decade, but I’m on the Phil bandwagon. What’s better than watching Phil take aim at blind pins, at Pebble while drinking beer on a Friday night? Maybe if his Elin Woods was blowing me while I was watching this, that would be a better.
Lee Westwood +900, too much hype from last weeks Memorial win in Memphis, and the Brits are having a tough month i.e. BP and the UK World Cup team. Factoid: golfers winning the week before never win at the Open. Though it’s tough to ignore a guy who has finished 2nd or 3rd in the last three majors
Dustin Johnson +2500, read my post about him HERE. I’m excited for DJ
Jim Furyk +2500, One of the best putters in the league 5 top five finishes at the US Open. Smart golfer, but has finished 47th (Players) and MC at the Masters, his two biggest events this year.
Steve Stricker +3000, Has been a ghost this year with one victory, and 3 top fives. A sexy pick to replace Tiger as the tours top golfer, not sure what’s gone wrong. Scores well, 5th is scoring average and 12th in putting.
Zach Johnson +4000, past major winners are enticing, won recently and is 9th in driving accuracy and 36th in putting
Geoff Oglivy +4000, intriguing pick. The Aussie has made 9 cuts in 11 events won 1 event, SBS Championship and was 26th at the Masters.
Hunter Mahan +4000, Of course I had to pick him
K.J. Choi +4500, has never won a major and is due but at 40 years old his time is running out, they said the same thing about Phil in ’04.
Martin Kaymer +5000, A European hasn’t won at the US Open in forty years. Weird, doesn’t an American win their pussy British Open like every year?
Bo Van Pelt +5000, Bo knows birdies he’s first in total birdies (240), 3rd in Greens in Reg and 5th in driving distance, dangerous combo. And he has finished in the top 10 in 5 out of the last 6 events, he always shoots himself into the leaderboard by Sunday.
Charl Schwartzel +8000, If you take a So African, bet Charl over Ernie. 2nd at the WGC, 3rd at the Shell Open and 30th at the Masters.