Archive for the ‘Hoops’ Category


I know right about now the Sunday Blues are starting to sink in for most of my readers. The Sunday Night Blues hit because the average person is anxious about a new work week and getting back to the grind.  For Big Rips readers and most degenerates the Sunday Blues are 2X worse.   You have that heavy, clammy, anxious feeling like most other people, but you also have the “I want to slit my wrist” feeling because it’s Sunday, you’re in the hole a nickel and the daylight hours are dwindling.  Which means there’s the random Sunday Night baseball game to bet on or if you are lucky there is a convenient NBA Finals 3 game…and there is tonight.

The public seems to be all over Dallas (-2)  after they stormed back in Game 2 to stun Lebron and company.  It definitely feels like they have the momentum and a ‘fuck you’ attitude after D. Wade did his best Sidney Deane impersonation from White Men Can’t Jump.  I am going to stay away tonight, because as history has taught us since the NBA has switched to the 2-3-2 format, the team that wins Game 3 goes on to win the NBA finals.  Fact.  This has happened 11 straight years.  So sit back tonight, don’t stress out and take the G3 winner tomorrow when they adjust the series line, and load up.  Uncle Seth still has a nice winner for everyone tonight.

Lebron James has been vocal that he has not been aggressive enough in the first two games, especially after a poor Game 2 performance.  He’s made it to the line just 6 times in the first two games and Shawn Marion is being touted as a Lebron specialist. We all know that this does not still well with The King Douche.  James said yesterday to some media folks that he will be in “Attack mode tonight” and that he’ll being make a “concerted effort to get  to the rim, create opportunities for myself and my teammates…”  We all know that is code for – get the fuck out of my way I am going to shoot 30x and I might pass to D. Wade if I’m tripled teamed.  Tonight he’ll get himself to the hoop and the NBA referees will be ordered by The Fuher (David Stern) to put Lebron on the line to make up for his 6 FT attempts. So for Game 3 of the NBA finals I am betting James OVER 13 1/2 first half points and OVER 26 1/2 total points for the game.  I love both of these bets.

Good luck,



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Hey Lebron! Boys and Girls Club of Greenwich Connecticut I’m sure they’ll need the revenue donation from the nicely positioned Vitamin water cooler you promised.  How about doing it in like Detroit or maybe Akron?

I started a tally of how many times he said ‘um during the interview it was 33, but I stopped when he said South Beach.  Jim Gray said ‘um once.

Have fun in SoBe getting Herpes with Dwayne Wade.


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I’m calling bullshit that Mormons don’t drink.  Cause I just read all over the Twitter wire that Jermaine O’Neal is leaning towards Boston.  This means Danny is either wasted from 4th of July weekend or is letting the office chimp run the business while every Free Agent from Dwayne Wade to Boozer, to even fucking Darko ,who I would rather have over Jermaine O’Neal, gets scooped up.

I won’t be terribly surprised when this happens if Perk gets crippled drunk drives to Danny’s house and assaults him, Doc resigns and the Big Three play a year pro-bona for the Heat.

O’Neal’s Stats versus the Celtics in the 1st round this year

2010 Playoffs

Games 5 MIN 23.2 FG 9-44 FG % 20.4% PTS 4.2 REB 5.6 TO 1.4


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When I did my NBA Finals preview blog I was torn on who to wager on for MVP, I eliminated the big favorites, Kobe, Pierce, Pau and went with a long shot who was capable of having a big finals after his monster Cleveland series, Kevin Garnett +1250.  Before last night it has been a seesaw series with neither flexing until last night when the Truth finally had his break out game.  Game One saw Kobe drop 30 but Pau dominated KG and company down low while contributing 23-13, early sexy MVP pick Pau.  Game 2 was Jesus Shuttlesworth’s day has he had the record-breaking 8 three’s and dropped 32 points, but has contributed as much as Brian Scalabrine since G2. Games 3 and 4 are a toss-up, Derek Fisher had that crucial 2nd half in G3, finishing with 16 points and clutch shots down the stretch, KG finally showed flashes 11-16 for 25 in the loss.  Game 4 was the Donkey/Shrek show, the Celtics bench lead by Baby (18-5) and @nate_robinson (12-2 steals) kept the first team playing the role of cheerleader most of the 2nd half, Kobe had 33 but a  was a minus 8 on the floor  in the loss.  And finally the Truth (27 points) had his strongest game since game 6 of the Magic series last night, withstanding haymakers from Kobe 38 points (19 3rd quarter points).  So after 5 games I say Ed Lacerte may be the front runner for Finals MVP for keeping these old dogs healthy enough to keep playing, but since team trainers don’t qualify, I am clueless to who wins this.  If my guy opened up the odds again I still don’t I could pick a winner, maybe Kobe in case LA wins or Rondo because he’s been the best player all playoffs? Who knows.

If you had to pick or place a bet now who be your choice for the NBA finals MVP?


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Part 2 Center and Coach…

Center: Kendrick Perkins vs Andrew Bynum

Bynum’s Offense vs Perks Defense: Andrew Bynum is a much better offensive option then Perk, and will be a major contributor for the Lakeshow. Check goes to Bynum.  But he hasn’t faced someone as tough, physical and nasty as Perk.  Bynum has been guarded by the following ‘Centers’ in the 2010 playoffs, Robin Lopez (who was pretty good versus LA), Mehmet Okur and  Nenad Krstic, not quite you all defensive team.  I really like this match up if Perk can just keep his mouth shut to avoid that 7th technical foul which would land him a one game suspension, but I am skeptical that he can.  The League rule of offsetting techs is terrible and shouldn’t count towards the tally, if I could bet on Perk being suspended for one game I’d risk my entire 401K.

Wife versus Rumored Girlfriend: I guess in La La Land it’s rumored that Bynum is banging Rhianna who is a much better pull than Perks chick.  But we might have to give a slight edge to Perk, I wouldn’t think that he would even be married and she actually isn’t that bad for an ugly dude like Perk.  Also, doesn’t Rihanna have herpes?  Bynum can suck on that all day while Perk stays home with his nice wholesome southern bell.

Push just because of Perks technical foul situation

Head Coach: Doc Rivers vs Phil Jackson:

Wife/ Mistress: Phil bangs the Bosses wife and Doc pulls white tail.  Gotta give props to both.  Jeanie Buss in my mind is a lot hotter, just because she did some partial nude posing.

Coaching:  Phil Jackson 10 rings vs Doc Rivers 1 ring.  Obviously the Zen Master has been blessed with more talent, from Shaq, MJ, Pippen and Kobe and Doc had the big Three when he won his.  But Phil is a huge douche and I am sick of his mid game interviews with Doris Burke and post game press conferences when he treats the local beat guy like pan handler.  He’s turned into an arrogant prick and as much as I wanted Ainge to fire Doc and take the reigns, Doc knows how to coach this group and falls on his sword for his guys.  That’s a sign of a great leader.

Edge Rivers

Front Court to come…

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Every blog, sports paper, web-site, columnist, beat writer has done their NBA Finals preview between the Celtics and Lakers.  It’s a copy cat league so of course I have to piss one out just a few hours before tip off.  I need to separate myself from the pack and be a little different.  I hope my breakdown in the next few posts will help guide you in the series and help contribute to your bank roll.

Part One – Guard Play

Point Guard: Rajon Rondo vs Derek Fisher.

Offense: Two totally different players, Rondo is the hub of the C’s offense and the C’s go as Rondo goes.  D Fish is a solid player who will make his free throws and nail a big three here and there.  Rondo has the obvious edge because how important he is to the tempo of the game and getting Pierce and KG involved.  FIsher is more out there to bring the ball up dish to Kobe and Pau and nail a three when need be.

intangibles: I haven’t payed a ton of attention to Fisher, but how can anyone argue that a player on either team or even in the league with the exception of Lebron, does more little things.  It’s evident from Rondo’s 29-18-13 performance in Game four versus the Cav’s, his loose ball hustle over J Will versus the Magic and his constant suffocating defense.

Girlfriend:  Not much doing for either player, I’ll roll with Rondo on this one just because Fisher’s wife is a pig and has a forehead made for a jet plane to land on it

Advantage Rajon Rondo

Shooting Guard: Ray Allen Vs Kobe Bryant

Offense: You can’t compare Apples to Oranges, Kobe is obviously the much better player, and they most likely won’t match up throughout the series if Jackson sticks to his plan of putting Bryant on Rondo.  I think that will give C’s an advantage in the first game or two because Derek Fisher and Shannon Brown will have to chase Jesus around the perimeter giving the C’s a favorable match up, I think if the C’s win the first one you’ll see Kobe moved back to cover Ray.

Defense:  Doc will have the rotating three headed monster on Kobe, using Ray, Peirce and Rondo (and TA off the bench).  Ray is just good enough to stay with Kobe but requires a lot of help from Pierce and Rondo coming off the double.  C’s have the Advantage here

White Women: Big time advantage goes to Ray Ray.  He banged out a threesome in He Got Game and I am sure he had scores of other white chicks at Uconn.  Kobe, can’t even have consensual sex with white chick and reverted to rape (pictured above).  Compare both circumstances Ray gets two hot blondes with monster tits and Kobe gets some beat looking broad with a Gunt.

Advantage Jesus Shuttlesworth

Part 2 Centers and Coach later on…


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I think Celtics fans are still trying to get over that abominable game 5 and fear the series is slipping away via David Stern’s order of his clansmen, lead by Eddie Rusch and Joe Crawford.  The other terrible thing that the Celtics have working against them is the Friday night home curse, which I blogged about during the Cleveland series.  The Celtics blow more on Friday nights than a Freshman chick at The Umass.  The Celtics ended up losing that game by 73 points to the Cavs.  So I am fearful for tonight’s game and for their championship hopes. Tonight, is Game 7 for the Celtics win or stay home.  Like I’ve said many of times I have been on the wrong side the Celtics all year, do not take to my advice.

So rather give a boldface prediction I am going with a trusted resource. Today a producer from WEEI called famed cheater, Tim Donaghy offline to ask him what his thoughts were on the officiating crew for game 6.  Donaghy who was critical of the refs the day before on the D & C show, hinted that the Magic should “dust off their golf clubs.” Who knew the exiled referee would continue to have an affect how people bet on the NBA.  The counter argument that people will make is what if that crew heard Donaghy’s comments and make sure the C’s get jobbed again.  I am not buying that at all. Donaghy is to the NBA what Joe Canseco is to MLB.  Jose called out the entire league and named names,guys like ARod, Manny and David Ortiz, who were already cheating and continued to cheat after the fact.  In addition the ‘experts’ on ESPN, NBA Live, PTI, TNT, WEEI etc are all handjobbing the Magic and making Bruins comparisons.  Keep ’em coming. Anytime a collective  group of experts and ex-players side with one team, go the other way.  I love C’s tonight, thank you Tim Donaghy, you’re the closest I’ll ever come to getting my hands on Biff’s Almanac .

Taking the C’s -2.5 vs the Magic

Good luck,


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